The Cub killer

I'm typing as I watch tonight's Cubs-Astros creep excruciatingly into extra innings. Carlos Lee hit a home run early on for the Astros only run which makes sense because El Caballo turns into an unholy reincarnation of Babe Ruth when facing Chicago. In my mind, he's what's called a "Cub killer" but is my anecdotal notion well-founded?

Checking his career splits on B-R, he's hit .305/.360/.584 against the Cubs (in 430 PAs prior to tonight's game) against a career line of .291/.345/.504. So yes, Lee has performed very well against the Cubs, better than any other team excepting a few clubs that he hasn't faced nearly as often as Chicago. On top of that, he's put up a preposterous .314/.367/.614 line at Wrigley Field. And as I'm typing this, Miguel Tejeda hit a double and Piniella elects to intentionally walk Carlos Lee. I agree with Piniella, I'd much rather face Geoff Blum than Carlos Lee (Blum eventually struck out on three pitches).

Theoretically, I'm supposed to despise a rival player that continually torments the Cubs. After all, Lee spent years with the White Sox, a brief stint with the Brewers, and he now plays for Houston. If only he joined the Cardinals, I might not have a choice. But I like Lee, for a simple and silly reason. I like his nickname. In age when the only acceptable nicknames seem to be a combination of the first letter of the player's first name and the first syllable of the player's last name (example, Alex Rodriguez is "A-Rod"), "El Caballo" is a welcome relief. A rather husky fellow, it suits Lee physically and it has the exotic allure of being in Spanish. I think, without researching it, that the nickname was bestowed by Hawk Harrelson, a man that normally takes both idiocy and the English language to new lows. However, assuming that the moniker did originate with Harrelson, I'm forced to concede that Hawk contributed one decent thing to our culture.

As a closing tangent, why do the White Sox fans like Harrelson so much? I don't know a single Sox fan with a southern accent so it's not as if they naturally feel comfortable with the speech pattern. I've never met anyone would honestly utter the words "he gone" in seriousness. Harrelson speaks exactly like the parodies of southerners on Family Guy (Q: "Where's Col. Sanders?" A: "He dayd..."). More damning, he was a comically bad as the White Sox general manager. Harrelson fired Tony LaRussa because, well, Hawk's an idiot. He traded Bobby Bonilla for Jose DeLeon, a pitcher coming off a 19 loss season. For the talk of Cub fans being overly-optimistic softies, do you think we would tolerate it if the team had installed Larry Himes as the play-by-play man after firing him as GM? Of course not. For god knows what reason, the Sox fans love a man who nearly trashed their franchise.

A lost souvenir

I returned my passport to the government today and, in doing so, I gave up my best souvenir. I did take photographs, and I also brought home some real souvenirs. But those border-crossing stamps ... I'll only leave Swaziland once (because I'm never going back [and, even if I were forced to return, I'd try to exit as hastily as I did the first time around]) and I'll only land at Schiphol once, to celebrate one 30th birthday in Amsterdam.

I was 20 years old when I got that little book, cl ean-shaven and grinning for the Walgreen's photographer, and I put it into an envelope today, sending it back to the US government so that they can dispose of it. What does the government do with returned passports? Is there a giant incinerator behind the passport processing center? Why couldn't I keep the darn thing as a momento? How could anyone make use of an entry visa into Mozambique, dated three years ago?

So all I'm left with are the refrigerator magnets and a couple hundred photographs, none of which I nervously fingered in my pocket as I approached a weird border outpost. The trips were varied but that little book was always the same.

To compensate for its' loss, I've created a blog, which I plan to update twice daily. Honest, I swear that I'll post twice a day, until I lose interest in whole thing, day after tomorrow ...

My posts will address the following 10 topics...

1. Baseball, generally
2. The Chicago Cubs, specifically
3. Chicago, generally
4. My neighbors, specifically (and, even more specifically, the weird guy that lives in the basement of my building).
5. Dogs, and why certain people choose to care for them (I'm not against dog-ownership, but what kind of jackanape pays $700 for a puggle?)
6. My favorite forgotten figures from the US Civil War, fleshed out with inapposite references to Oliver Cromwell.
7. The Clash, and how they rule your face.
8. A brief history of all my ex-girlfriends. That history will be brief by necessity, rather than choice.
9. A description of how I caught a housefly between my thumb and index finger a few hours ago.
10. More Cubs.

(11) Good night.