Offhand, I told my girlfriend that I have a blog. I also told her that I own a Porsche which I keep in a garage around the corner. She believes neither story...but I hinted that the name of this, my blog, is an item in our household ... so now she's playing 20 questions, trying to identify that item...
20. Is it in the room that I am in?
A: No.
19. Is it in the room that you are in?
A: No
18. Is it in the bedroom?
A: No
17: Is it in the kitchen?
A: Yes
16: Was it something that was here when we moved in?
A: No
15: Was it something that - was it one of your belongings?
A: Yes
14: The kitchen table?
A: No
13: Is it that chair that was in the fire?
A: No
12: Was it that painting that Will did...that scary painting?
A: No
11: Is it the box that has "formaldehyde" stamped on it? [incidentally, the item in question is a crate with "EMBALMING FLUID" printed on it]
A: No
10: Is it bigger than a bread box?
A: No
9: Is it an ashtray?
A: No
[...very long pause...]
8. Is it an item that would kept in the pantry?
A: No
7. Is it an item that would be kept on the kitchen counter, I mean the island...on the end?
A: No
6. Is it something that would be kept in the bar area, including the cabinets above and below (we call this space "the hutch", but so much for brevity)?
A: No
5. I'm tired of this game
A: 'I'm tired of this game' isn't a question.
- This is taking forever. I'm going to read about eggs. You're typing all this so it's going really slow and it's not fun. How many questions are left?
- Five. Well, four, but I'll give you an extra question. We'll call it 'Question Zero.'
- Alright, I'll give you five minutes to type everything out.
- Okay, six questions cause I've typed all this stuff under Question Five but you didn't actually ask a question.
[five minutes later]
5 (Again). Is it something soft?
A: Yes...but that's subjective?
- I don't see how something could be subjectively soft. Is it something that changes shape and density?
- I'll just say 'yes', it's soft.
4. Is it an oven mitt?
A: No...but (stammering) that guess is warm.
3. Is it the squeaky nun toy?
A: No.
2. Is it the hand towel?
A: No
[She's getting frustrated so I interject and say that the oven mitt is close...not physically, it's on the other side of the kitchen.]
1. Is it green...wait...is it brown?
A: Yes, it's brown.
Zero: Is it on the kitchen table?
A: Yes.
- Oh, it's your baseball mitt.
- Right, but you were out of questions.
- God, those were the most protracted 20 questions ever.
- And to be specific, it's not my baseball glove, it's my father's baseball mitt.
Zernial's glove is a MacGregor baseball mitt, dating from about 1950, with the facsimile autograph of one Gus Zernial stamped on it. Ironically, Mr. Zernial was not known as a good defensive outfielder. It's sort of like owning a Richard Nixon home lie-detector kit. A modern equivalent might be glove with Adam Dunn's name stamped on it. Dunn is a useful player and all but he's surely not the "finest in the field." The Zernial glove originally belonged to my now deceased father and I cherish the weatherbeaten thing.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Oh, the grammar
About a day after posting, I read my own words. And, invariably, the grammar stinks.
I should compose each entry in MS Word, proof-read the darn things, and then paste them into the post field. But I'm lazy and don't follow such a strict regimen. So I apologize to you, imaginary readers, for my own sloth.
If it's a battle to discern the meaning of sentences that I wrote, then it must be ten times more difficult for you to do so.
I should compose each entry in MS Word, proof-read the darn things, and then paste them into the post field. But I'm lazy and don't follow such a strict regimen. So I apologize to you, imaginary readers, for my own sloth.
If it's a battle to discern the meaning of sentences that I wrote, then it must be ten times more difficult for you to do so.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Into the ever-less-wild
The Cubs have essentially crapped their bed, losing 5 of 6 before beating the Dodgers yesterday. With St. Louis now 8 games ahead in the division and the Rockies 7 up for the wild card, the Cubs' postseason chances have dwindled to nearly nil. Perhaps mercifully, I was spared the agony of watching it happen, as I was fishing northern Ontario. So I'll describe the fishing rather than trying to analyze baseball games that I didn't watch.
So here's the fishing report...
Along with two family friends, I journey to a remote lake in Ontario to spend a week fishing. The terrain is very similar to that of northern Wisconsin or Minnesota - chains of glacial lakes, flowing into one another, pine trees, boggy swamps, rocky outcrops, and not much evidence of civilization. We've been going to the same lake for about a decade and, unfortunately, that evidence of civilization has grown exponentially in that time. While I do love the fishing itself, I'm lured north, in part, because I can escape from the world in way, certainly from the closely-cloistered city in which I live. While the lake has by no means been transformed in the last decade, the atmosphere has probably changed more in that span than in the previous five decades since the first fishing camp opened. Here's a list of the changes:
1. More cabins - There are now about a dozen privately owned cabins on the lake whereas there were only three or four ten years ago. A decade ago, one of those cabins sold for about $30,000 Canadian but, last year, a tiny little cabin on a small lot was on sale for $150,000. So what happened? Toronto discovered the region. While there are lakes closer to that city, they've already been built up. So Toronto residents are now willing to drive the four or so hours up to the lake. And they've brought the stratospheric increase in property values with them.
2. Cell phones - I can get a good cellphone signal on the lake now, 15 miles from a paved road and much further from anything resembling a town. Just a few years ago, that was impossible. Now, my girlfriend expects me to check in nightly whereas, I would make one exorbitantly expensive midweek call home on the owner's landline just to say something along the lines of "I'm alive, I love you, and we'll talk in 4 days." Being in such close contact removes the sense of remoteness that existed before.
3. Satellite TV (the little mini-dishes, not the huge trailer-park specials) - The availability and affordability of those small dishes has transformed the cabins. Our fishing camp changed ownership a few years ago and the new owners have, admirably, done a wonderful job renovating the cabins. What were once plywood shacks with comically sloping floors, are now comfortably furnished houses. And now we have satellite TV. Instead of shooting the shit over coffee cause there was nothing else to do, we now stare at CNN or "Sportscentre". If the Cubs hadn't been on the west coast, and thus playing too late at night to watch considering that we start fishing at dawn, I would've been able to watch several of the games. Gone are the days of a midweek trip to get a newspaper and stare at the standings, wondering where the wins and losses came from. Maybe some relish the convenience but I miss the old times. So it goes.
Still, most importantly, the fishing was as good as ever...
I decided to fish for northern pike more than in past years. In Wisconsin, I've the following method to fish for northerns - using an 18-inch leader, I've put a live minnow on larger hook, tethering the fish to the lake bed with a heavy weight below the leader, usually a dipsy swivel. I'll fish that way in about 25-35 feet of water, on a rock or gravel bottom. It's worked in 'Sconsin but I've never tried it on the Canada, as procuring minnows requires a lengthy detour either on the way up or during the week. But this year I made the side trip for the proper bait and on Monday morning, I sent my minnow plummeting to the lake bottom.
And the results? I got four strikes in the first 90 minutes and pulled up two pike. The first was a juvenile, maybe 22-24 inches and only a pound or two. The second was a good pike, measuring 32 inches and weighing 7 pounds, fat for that length. He yielded two excellent filets, enough to feed 6 people. After that first outing, the pike fishing slowed down and I only caught one more, another little guy, in about 5 or 6 hours of combined fishing. I did catch a few smallmouth bass on the pike rig, in fairly deep water. Smallmouth fight like hell so, each time I hooked one on the pike outfit, I figured I had a small to medium sized pike on the line. At least that kept things somewhat interesting after the pike stopped biting...
...the bass fishing was a mixed bag. My buddies, usually fishing in deeper water with heavier gear (I use ultra-light tackle when bass fishing) did better than me, a reversal of the usual trend. The highlight was early in the week, when I was firing a weedless plastic worm (brown) back into the vegetation in a series of small coves. In one little notch, I got an immediate strike after putting my lure within five feet of the shore. Almost immediately, I knew that I had hooked a big largemouth bass. It took me at least three or four minutes to drag him out of the cove, through the lillypads and into the boat. In the end, he wrecked my lure but, at 18 inches and 4 lbs., the catch was worth it.
Oddly, for the first time since I've begun fishing this lake, I didn't catch many smallmouth. My friends did, but the smallmouth weren't in their usual locations, at least for me. I can't figure that one out as a midweek change in the weather didn't make any difference. I suppose that was the only real disappointment.
All in all, it wasn't the best fishing but it wasn't the worst. And despite the encroachment of modernity, I'll be back on the same lake next August. And probably for years to come, until I win the lottery and can afford to charter floatplanes and hire guides, to take me onto the nameless lakes north of Yellowknife, where enormous virginal pike lurk.
So here's the fishing report...
Along with two family friends, I journey to a remote lake in Ontario to spend a week fishing. The terrain is very similar to that of northern Wisconsin or Minnesota - chains of glacial lakes, flowing into one another, pine trees, boggy swamps, rocky outcrops, and not much evidence of civilization. We've been going to the same lake for about a decade and, unfortunately, that evidence of civilization has grown exponentially in that time. While I do love the fishing itself, I'm lured north, in part, because I can escape from the world in way, certainly from the closely-cloistered city in which I live. While the lake has by no means been transformed in the last decade, the atmosphere has probably changed more in that span than in the previous five decades since the first fishing camp opened. Here's a list of the changes:
1. More cabins - There are now about a dozen privately owned cabins on the lake whereas there were only three or four ten years ago. A decade ago, one of those cabins sold for about $30,000 Canadian but, last year, a tiny little cabin on a small lot was on sale for $150,000. So what happened? Toronto discovered the region. While there are lakes closer to that city, they've already been built up. So Toronto residents are now willing to drive the four or so hours up to the lake. And they've brought the stratospheric increase in property values with them.
2. Cell phones - I can get a good cellphone signal on the lake now, 15 miles from a paved road and much further from anything resembling a town. Just a few years ago, that was impossible. Now, my girlfriend expects me to check in nightly whereas, I would make one exorbitantly expensive midweek call home on the owner's landline just to say something along the lines of "I'm alive, I love you, and we'll talk in 4 days." Being in such close contact removes the sense of remoteness that existed before.
3. Satellite TV (the little mini-dishes, not the huge trailer-park specials) - The availability and affordability of those small dishes has transformed the cabins. Our fishing camp changed ownership a few years ago and the new owners have, admirably, done a wonderful job renovating the cabins. What were once plywood shacks with comically sloping floors, are now comfortably furnished houses. And now we have satellite TV. Instead of shooting the shit over coffee cause there was nothing else to do, we now stare at CNN or "Sportscentre". If the Cubs hadn't been on the west coast, and thus playing too late at night to watch considering that we start fishing at dawn, I would've been able to watch several of the games. Gone are the days of a midweek trip to get a newspaper and stare at the standings, wondering where the wins and losses came from. Maybe some relish the convenience but I miss the old times. So it goes.
Still, most importantly, the fishing was as good as ever...
I decided to fish for northern pike more than in past years. In Wisconsin, I've the following method to fish for northerns - using an 18-inch leader, I've put a live minnow on larger hook, tethering the fish to the lake bed with a heavy weight below the leader, usually a dipsy swivel. I'll fish that way in about 25-35 feet of water, on a rock or gravel bottom. It's worked in 'Sconsin but I've never tried it on the Canada, as procuring minnows requires a lengthy detour either on the way up or during the week. But this year I made the side trip for the proper bait and on Monday morning, I sent my minnow plummeting to the lake bottom.
And the results? I got four strikes in the first 90 minutes and pulled up two pike. The first was a juvenile, maybe 22-24 inches and only a pound or two. The second was a good pike, measuring 32 inches and weighing 7 pounds, fat for that length. He yielded two excellent filets, enough to feed 6 people. After that first outing, the pike fishing slowed down and I only caught one more, another little guy, in about 5 or 6 hours of combined fishing. I did catch a few smallmouth bass on the pike rig, in fairly deep water. Smallmouth fight like hell so, each time I hooked one on the pike outfit, I figured I had a small to medium sized pike on the line. At least that kept things somewhat interesting after the pike stopped biting...
...the bass fishing was a mixed bag. My buddies, usually fishing in deeper water with heavier gear (I use ultra-light tackle when bass fishing) did better than me, a reversal of the usual trend. The highlight was early in the week, when I was firing a weedless plastic worm (brown) back into the vegetation in a series of small coves. In one little notch, I got an immediate strike after putting my lure within five feet of the shore. Almost immediately, I knew that I had hooked a big largemouth bass. It took me at least three or four minutes to drag him out of the cove, through the lillypads and into the boat. In the end, he wrecked my lure but, at 18 inches and 4 lbs., the catch was worth it.
Oddly, for the first time since I've begun fishing this lake, I didn't catch many smallmouth. My friends did, but the smallmouth weren't in their usual locations, at least for me. I can't figure that one out as a midweek change in the weather didn't make any difference. I suppose that was the only real disappointment.
All in all, it wasn't the best fishing but it wasn't the worst. And despite the encroachment of modernity, I'll be back on the same lake next August. And probably for years to come, until I win the lottery and can afford to charter floatplanes and hire guides, to take me onto the nameless lakes north of Yellowknife, where enormous virginal pike lurk.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Husidic
Last night, I took in my annual Chicago Fire game, the SuperLiga final against UNAL Tigres. Chicago lost on kicks. I try to pay attention to my local MLS squad but paying attention is difficult because:
1. They play in the middle of nowhere. When will the rich bankrollers of MLS learn that building a stadium in a distant suburb dooms their precious "franchise" to obscurity? The "public funding at all costs" mantra that has dominated US sports ever since Reinsdorf ripped off Illinois taxpayers has now become a means that overshadows the purported end. In other words, an MLS team will tie themselves into a stadium in a far-flung suburbia simply because that same stadium is publicly funded. Those decisions damage the long-term equity of the franchise - if you want to build a valuable asset, focus less on the amenities (whatever the marginal revenue) and erect a glorified high school football stadium close to the central transportation nexus of your urban area. The first team that ponies up $10-15m on land and spends an equal amount on the facility itself will make the rest of the league look like fools. Moreover, they'll be getting better value for their money by doing it themselves.
2. It's not good soccer. The holding midfielder's influence is exagerrated in MLS because the skill sets of so many American players suit that role. It makes for a slow and technically deficient, if atheltic, game. Lots of 1-1 and 0-0 draws. MLS competition isn't inferior to a number of other top-tier leagues around the world. In fact, it's better than most. But the basic strategy, enforced by the officiating, glorifies the steady but unexciting guys. Always ekeing out a point might seem a safe strategy to the manager but, in actuality, it's counterproductive on two levels...let's call them (a) and (b)...
(a) First, as the league wants to grow in popularity, the style should be shaped to emphasize risk. Risk sells, prudence does not. Nobody goes to the movies to watch underwriters create actuarial tables - we fork over money to watch tractor-trailors, loaded with dynamite, screech into traffic while the pedestrians flee the explosions. As a limited cabal of owners run the franchises, they should realize that faster-played, if less prudent, soccer is far more interesting to the consumer than the current product. Find ways to emphasize that style - be it a deciding preference in the hiring of coaches (banning anyone ever associated with NCAA soccer would be a start) or closer scrutiny of the referees. Screw trying to save a point and go for a freaking goal once in a while.
(b) Second, the league's attempt to emulate NFL-type parity is misguided. What MLS really wants is an "event", the way the NFL dominates the collective sport conscious every Sunday, from Labor Day to Valentine's Day. Despite the lip service, the money men could care less about their precious parity if people would tune in to watch the games, thus driving up ad revenues, etc. On face, the parity idead would seem to promote interest - "I don't which team is going to win" but in actuality it turns fans away because there's no draw. Winning teams capture the public interest and if the best team in the league can only get three points 50% of the time, that fundamental draw is lacking.
3. And finally to one Mr. "Baggio" Husidic, the ostensible subject of this post. Husidic was the Chicago Fire's first draft choice this past winter and he's slowly been seeing more playing time this season. Last night, against Tigres, he played the entire 2nd half, more than almost ever before. Husidic is billed as an attacking midfielder but he was forced to play in deeper-lying role as one of two central mids. On the few occasions that he had the ball at his feet, he showed good instincts, including a wonderfully perceptive dummy to set up the Fire's only 2nd-half scoring chance. Also, he rashly dribbled into trouble after a few minutes on the field and that instance was to prove his defining moment tonight. It was clear that his teammates didn't trust Husidic with the ball after that mistake. Specifically, his fellow mid, Logan Pause, was continually positioning Husidic during stoppages for much of the half...
Here's the catch though - the aptly-named Pause takes for-freaking-ever to deliver a pass whereas Husidic seems to play much more quickly. Pause held the ball, reluctant to decide, at the top of the box throughout the 2nd half. While Pause is not a bad player, his indecision cost the team several scoring opportunities. To watch Pause bossing the more effective player, Husidic, into a lesser role galled me. That his coach and his teammates let him get away with it was even worse. Chicago should have won that game - that they didn't reflects poorly on the league and serves as an indictment of the dry style that they promote.
Last of all, let's stop calling Mr. Husidic by the name "Baggio". The nickname doesn't suit him. He doesn't look like Roberto Baggio. Of course, he doesn't play as well as Roberto Baggio. Husidic is a tall, shaggy, languid fellow whereas the real Baggio was a little nipper. Husidic's given name is "Adis" - that's a nice name. I don't care if his uncles address him as "Baggio" but the rest of us should stop because doing so will always place a weight on his shoulders that he can't carry.
1. They play in the middle of nowhere. When will the rich bankrollers of MLS learn that building a stadium in a distant suburb dooms their precious "franchise" to obscurity? The "public funding at all costs" mantra that has dominated US sports ever since Reinsdorf ripped off Illinois taxpayers has now become a means that overshadows the purported end. In other words, an MLS team will tie themselves into a stadium in a far-flung suburbia simply because that same stadium is publicly funded. Those decisions damage the long-term equity of the franchise - if you want to build a valuable asset, focus less on the amenities (whatever the marginal revenue) and erect a glorified high school football stadium close to the central transportation nexus of your urban area. The first team that ponies up $10-15m on land and spends an equal amount on the facility itself will make the rest of the league look like fools. Moreover, they'll be getting better value for their money by doing it themselves.
2. It's not good soccer. The holding midfielder's influence is exagerrated in MLS because the skill sets of so many American players suit that role. It makes for a slow and technically deficient, if atheltic, game. Lots of 1-1 and 0-0 draws. MLS competition isn't inferior to a number of other top-tier leagues around the world. In fact, it's better than most. But the basic strategy, enforced by the officiating, glorifies the steady but unexciting guys. Always ekeing out a point might seem a safe strategy to the manager but, in actuality, it's counterproductive on two levels...let's call them (a) and (b)...
(a) First, as the league wants to grow in popularity, the style should be shaped to emphasize risk. Risk sells, prudence does not. Nobody goes to the movies to watch underwriters create actuarial tables - we fork over money to watch tractor-trailors, loaded with dynamite, screech into traffic while the pedestrians flee the explosions. As a limited cabal of owners run the franchises, they should realize that faster-played, if less prudent, soccer is far more interesting to the consumer than the current product. Find ways to emphasize that style - be it a deciding preference in the hiring of coaches (banning anyone ever associated with NCAA soccer would be a start) or closer scrutiny of the referees. Screw trying to save a point and go for a freaking goal once in a while.
(b) Second, the league's attempt to emulate NFL-type parity is misguided. What MLS really wants is an "event", the way the NFL dominates the collective sport conscious every Sunday, from Labor Day to Valentine's Day. Despite the lip service, the money men could care less about their precious parity if people would tune in to watch the games, thus driving up ad revenues, etc. On face, the parity idead would seem to promote interest - "I don't which team is going to win" but in actuality it turns fans away because there's no draw. Winning teams capture the public interest and if the best team in the league can only get three points 50% of the time, that fundamental draw is lacking.
3. And finally to one Mr. "Baggio" Husidic, the ostensible subject of this post. Husidic was the Chicago Fire's first draft choice this past winter and he's slowly been seeing more playing time this season. Last night, against Tigres, he played the entire 2nd half, more than almost ever before. Husidic is billed as an attacking midfielder but he was forced to play in deeper-lying role as one of two central mids. On the few occasions that he had the ball at his feet, he showed good instincts, including a wonderfully perceptive dummy to set up the Fire's only 2nd-half scoring chance. Also, he rashly dribbled into trouble after a few minutes on the field and that instance was to prove his defining moment tonight. It was clear that his teammates didn't trust Husidic with the ball after that mistake. Specifically, his fellow mid, Logan Pause, was continually positioning Husidic during stoppages for much of the half...
Here's the catch though - the aptly-named Pause takes for-freaking-ever to deliver a pass whereas Husidic seems to play much more quickly. Pause held the ball, reluctant to decide, at the top of the box throughout the 2nd half. While Pause is not a bad player, his indecision cost the team several scoring opportunities. To watch Pause bossing the more effective player, Husidic, into a lesser role galled me. That his coach and his teammates let him get away with it was even worse. Chicago should have won that game - that they didn't reflects poorly on the league and serves as an indictment of the dry style that they promote.
Last of all, let's stop calling Mr. Husidic by the name "Baggio". The nickname doesn't suit him. He doesn't look like Roberto Baggio. Of course, he doesn't play as well as Roberto Baggio. Husidic is a tall, shaggy, languid fellow whereas the real Baggio was a little nipper. Husidic's given name is "Adis" - that's a nice name. I don't care if his uncles address him as "Baggio" but the rest of us should stop because doing so will always place a weight on his shoulders that he can't carry.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)